Impact versus Intent - The "Thorn in My Side"

 

("hammers 'n nails" by douglasjonesjr is licensed under CC BY 2.0)

Within the world of wildland fire, we talk a lot about intent. Today I want to talk about the impact our communications and actions have on others, regardless of our intent.

For the last couple of years, I have been on a journey to seek understanding following the division we have in this country. Division is a thread within the fabric of every relationship. How we approach that division defines us.

 A couple years ago, I attended a diversity and inclusion workshop by the Wassmuth Center for Human Rights. At one point in the session, I expressed my opinion that the intent of my communication/actions outweighs the impact of my words. If I don't know that something is hurtful, I should be held accountable. (It didn't quite come out that bluntly, but I think you get the gist.) The presenter stood her ground and asserted impact over intent. I walked away from that workshop with a nagging sense that something didn't sit well with me. I had a proverbial "thorn in my side."

That thorn has festered for a couple years. Following the unrest and protests this past year, I joined a small group of friends to discuss racism. Our book of choice was White Fragility - Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin Diangelo. Robin brought up the concept of impact...again. Ouch, that thorn just embedded a little deeper.

My thoughts turned to leadership and the communication cycle. We know that in order to communicate, we need both a sender and a receiver. As leaders we know that we must communicate effectively and ensure that the message given is the message received. If I embrace the feedback loop of the communication cycle, I will know whether or not my message or action is received properly. 

What if my words/actions caused harm? As the sender, I can explain my error in and ignorance, apologize, and seek forgiveness. As the receiver, I have an opportunity to express my hurt, accept the apology, and forgive the sender. This exchange requires that both parties approach the communication cycle with a sense of grace. 

Therefore, it seems logical that impact rules over intent.

If you say something and you make someone feel seriously uncomfortable, it’s now on you to give serious consideration to why that person might feel that way. That’s how empathy and being a nice human being works." - Melanie Tannenbaum, writer

What if we all could act with grace and forgiveness? Wouldn't it be refreshing to co-exist with an attitude to seek for understanding. 

Wildland Fire Leadership Challenge - Digging a Little Deeper

• Read "But I Didn't Mean It: Why It's So Hard to Prioritize Impacts Over Intents" by Melanie Tannenbaum.
• Consider the following:
• Are you fully embracing the feedback portion of the communication cycle?
• Is the intent of your words powerpowering the impact?
• Is your intended message having the impact you need?
• Contemplate how active listening and response without anger affect communication.
• Do you have a "thorn in your side" that needs addressed? Address it.

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Pam McDonald is a writer/editor for BLM Wildland Fire Training and Workforce Development and member of the NWCG Leadership Committee. The expressions are those of the author.