Statera

(Photo: Chris Ayer)

My wife probably will not be as excited about this post as she has been about some of the other ones; but, to me it hammers home a point—a wildfire spouse learns burn periods, has taken an S-290 class (even if it was taught unwillingly), and eventually understands the inner workings of regions, GACCs, and the NICC. A direct quote from my beautiful wife:

What the hell are you doing on the phone constantly? Working after everyone goes to bed? It is not even season and might be inching into a burn period, but it is off season. You need to spend some time with the family!! (This quote might have been edited slightly for colorful language.)

It was the off season, inching into a burn period in Southern Arizona and a week before Thanksgiving. At no point was she wrong in her thinking. Honestly, she was spot on. She is extremely supportive and promotes me putting in extra work for my district and my passion. I think the important thing that this hit home with was balance. 

We have all these stats and quotes about how hard we are on our spouses, and it is completely true. I did a measly 42 days out this season which means she was a single mom with two boys at home, running our boarding business, and taking care of everything else that came up (finances, broken vehicles, etc.). This job to many of us is a calling and a passion that we can’t turn off. All those projects that got put on hold during the busy months (planning, training, equipment, inventories) have stacked up and need to get done...BALANCE...It is not that she is asking for me to stop or even slow down, or to stop pursuing my passion or calling. But when I am home, I need to be home, and engaged to what is going on. 

Here is an idea to consider as we move into holidays:

I was out 42 days this year checking weather, focusing on briefings, training with crew/engine, focusing during “witching hour." What if I put the same effort being at home? Would we strike a better balance mentally and emotionally for ourselves and spouses? Would we be more productive when we do go to work? Would we feel we are leaving our home lives in a better place when we do step out the door for season? 

I am personally going to try harder to not be consumed by fire year round and put more effort into being present when I am home.

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Christopher Ayer is a Firefighter/Firefighter Type 1/Paramedic for Corona De Tucson Fire Department in Tucson, Arizona. The expressions and views are those of the author.