Taking a step up in leadership brings with it challenges that are hard to anticipate. One challenge is leading the people you call friends. Turning the table from friend to boss brings an entirely new dynamic to a group. The good-natured jokes and fun you once shared don't land the same. So how do you make the transition from friend to leader?
Leading is no easy task, but leading friends adds a layer of complexity and can put an enormous strain on the relationship and lines of communication. Nobody wants their buddy bossing them around, but someone must lead and having your communication skills dialed in is essential. There will be times when a simple order will suffice and others when more personalized communication is required.
We to be able to talk to every individual like a person and with open dialogue to work through the tough situations and knowing when to act on something and say something or when to realize that it isn’t an important topic and can let go.
One pitfall a friend-boss may fall into occurs when communication falters or you sense your people aren’t buying into the plan and you lead by democracy. Everyone gets a part in the leadership process. Although effective in the short term, this may create an environment where your team becomes unsure how to move forward or communicate. Is the new leader going to ask for input on every situation? Is the he/she listening to my input or just trying to make me feel like they are?
Another observation I have observed is difficulty when leading up to a friend-boss. Most the well-intentioned suggestions given to the friend-boss may now be taking as over-stepping, and old crew dynamics my actually hamper the friend-boss's ability to engage and direct the crew with his/her vision
and lead in his/her preferred style.
Leading friends will undoubtedly happen. The key to this transition lies with open and honest communication. When you elect to step into the leadership role, bring your team with you. Acknowledge the friend aspect and give the team your leader's intent. Be open to feedback. Develop a way to handle conflict. And above all, lead how you want to lead. Things will be different, but in the end, it is all about relationships and the mission. If the team was strong before, it will remain strong.
Christopher Ayer is a Firefighter/Firefighter Type 1/Paramedic for Corona De Tucson Fire Department in Tucson, Arizona. The expressions and views are those of the author.
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