What and Why Emotional Intelligence?

(Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay)

What is emotional intelligence? 

In simple terms it is understanding and managing emotions. When we are tuned into, understand, and manage emotions, we are best able to:

• Motivate ourselves,
• Persist when frustrated,
• Control our impulses,
• Delay gratification,
• Keep distress from swamping our ability to think,
• Empathize, and
• Hope (Goleman, 1997)

Needless to say, EQ is critical to doing meaningful things, being resilient and having meaningful and lasting relationships in our lives; it greatly fuels our passions and helps us connect with a sense of purpose in our lives. With that said, balance is key. We have all seen (or been) decision makers who were highly emotional when making decisions. Decisions made in these moments often miss important points, contextual factors and can lead to unwanted outcomes. On the other hand, research has shown us that individuals who lack the capacity to connect to the emotional parts of the brain (limbic system, amygdala) due to accidents or other deficiencies are horrible decision makers. By only being able to connect with the thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) and thus use only logical analysis and reasoning it takes away the ability to also understand key contextual factors, and where others are at mentally and emotionally. The best decision makers and those that are the most successful in many regards are those who can balance their emotions with the thinking part of the brain. As such, emotional intelligence is as much about including our emotions in our decisions, as balancing them at the same time.

How do I improve my emotional intelligence? 

At the heart of emotional intelligence is attention and awareness. We can only fully take-in and regulate our emotions when we are aware of them – what they are telling us, and how they are affecting us and those around us. Thus, building our ability to notice and bring awareness to our emotions enables us to see our emotions and choose our response rather than being driven by our emotions.

There are different ways and facets to building this ability – one way is when you experience strong emotions, take a few, slow, deep breaths and scan your body from your toes to your head, noting the sensations you feel and then focusing on the one that is the strongest. See if you can describe the sensation to yourself, breath into and around it, allowing it to be as it is. The key is to observe it without judgment. Bringing this type of awareness to our emotions enables us to stop or prevent emotional hijacking and brings in our thinking part of the brain to partner with our emotions.

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Dr. Alexis Waldron is a Human Performance Specialist for the USFS and an advisor to the NWCG Leadership Committee.