Looking at Judgment

(Photo credit: Norca98/Pixabay)

We all fall short; we make mistakes.  The point of this blog is not how we deal with our own shortcomings, however, but how we deal with the shortcomings others, specifically judging others.

Why Do We Judge?
The following information came from Exploring Your Mind:

• When a person has low self-esteem, they use judgment to put themselves in a position of control.
• Those who take judging others lightly and does so just to hurt them lacks empathy.
• When a person has emotional wounds, they pass judgment onto others in order to project their own bitterness, sorrow and inner demons.

Perspective Doesn't Always Match Reality

What we see may not be reality. Avoid the temptation to judge. "Put yourself in another person's shoes."

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.

“That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

Her husband looked on, remaining silent.

Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.

A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”

The husband replied, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

Author Unknown

What Can We Do to Limit Judgment?
Today's blog was inspired by a Daily Stoic e-newsletter.

"When a Stoic sees that someone’s son has messed up, they think: If my son messed up and it reflected on me publicly, would I know what to do? What would the appropriate response to that challenge be? What is the right—the virtuous—thing to do? A Stoic doesn’t see trouble in someone else’s home as a chance for judgment or gossip but as a reminder of where they might one day fall short of their own duties as a father, mother, aunt, uncle, brother, or sister. When a Stoic sees a teenager being stupid or ignorant, they don’t waste time with outrage and indignation. They look at their own behavior in their younger years and consider their own ignorance (along with the pain it might have caused others), and then redouble their efforts to be a good example for the people around them."

Watch this video showcasing Stoic Macus Aurelius from Wisdom for Life.



Wildland Fire Leadership Challenge - Digging a Little Deeper

• Ponder the following questions:
• What does judging other's shortcomings have to say about us? 
• How can we learn to observe and listen without allowing our biases and judgements cloud our response?
• Can we ever be totally free of judgment?
• Consider reading Gabrielle Bernstein's book Judgment Detox.

  Before You Judge Anyone, Watch This from gabriellebernstein on Vimeo.

I leave you with an excerpt from Glen Ballard and Siedah Garrett's song "Man in the Mirror."

Man in the Mirror*

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you want to make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

Man in the Mirror lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management

Sung by Michael Jackson

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About the Author:

Pam McDonald is a writer/editor for BLM Wildland Fire Training and Workforce Development and member of the NWCG Leadership Subcommittee. The expressions are those of the author.